Perspectives on Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is all about perspective...

The Loner

If you're single and lonely the chances are you've spent today weighed down by a mix of jealousy, despair and abandonment. Those who bow to mainstream culture spend today watching happy couples holding hands and long to be in a couple themselves, torn apart by the idea that they cannot find love. Much like the elderly at Christmas, spare a thought for the lonely on Valentines. Give them a smile and wave. And perhaps give the door bell a ring if you haven't seen them come out of the house by the 17^th...

The Newly Dating

These are normally the people The Loners are watching. They have to celebrate Valentine's Day without fail, if only to prove that they are not alone. They have probably been dating a couple of months and are identifiable by the hand upon each other's arses, the loving gaze and the myriad of pointless gifts - 'I heart you' plaques, oversized teddy bears, overpriced chocolate boxes etc... There will be an expensive meal, lots of flowers and possibly even a West End show normally fuelled by the desperate need to show off, or the desperate need for attention.

The Not Really Alone Loner

Even more likely to get depressed than the singletons of the world, people who are in long distance relationships probably have the hardest time on Valentine's Day. You can't see your partner, you can't get a date and you can't go out because everywhere you go you'll be reminded that they're not with you most days, not just Valentine's Day. I have been the Not Really Alone Loner many times in the past – being single on Valentine's Day has never bothered me, but being apart from the one you love when everyone gets to celebrate being together hurts like a kick in the chest.

The Anti-Valentine's

Getting together with your other single friends on Valentine's may look like a desperate attempt to stave off loneliness, from the outside. However, speaking as someone who has spent a fair few Valentine's with her mates I can tell you that's not always the case. Who says Valentine's Day has to just be about couples? People send cards, flowers and messages to their parents and children, so why not spend an evening acknowledging how much your friends mean to you? After all, they bring you happiness and good company all year long too... Guys, have I told you all just how much I love you lately?

The Indifferent

I have much respect for those who bypass Valentine's as if it isn't happening. Believe me, its harder than you think it is. And, no, these people are not cheap skates, or unsentimental, or bitter. They just happen to get on with their lives without making too big a fuss about a day that is commercially driven and, to be fair, loses a lot of its sentiment in the pressure that it imposes on people in relationships. And by that I mean, can you imagine the number of 'OMG you forgot!?????!!' fights that are likely to happen in the next few hours???

The Long Term Couple

Those who have been in a relationship some time and have a mutual respect for one another will either have a routine Valentine's or more likely ignore it all together. Of course, for some its a chance to spend sometime together without anyone else. Couples out there shouldn't feel pressured to celebrate today, but if you haven't had as much time alone together as you would like think of it as an opportunity to be selfish for a change and go out and treat yourselves. You don't necessarily need cards, or flowers or chocolates. Just think about what you love to do together the most and do it – but preferably not in front of children, the elderly, the lonely or pets...

Have a wonderful Valentine's Day.